Offensive – Hash House Harriers Songbook

Linemans Lament

pete_o_connor@outlook.com — Sat, 13 Jul 2024 00:17:11 +0000

The first thing we pray for , we pray for our beers.
Glorious,Glorious,Glorious beers,
And if we have 1 beer may we also have 10, may we have a fuckin brewery, says the lineman lament.
The nex5 thing we pray for , we pray for our whores.
Glorious,Glorious,Glorious whores
And if we have 1 whore may we also have 10, may we have a fuckin whore house, says the lineman lament.
The last thing we pray for , we pray for our queen.
Glorious,Glorious,Glorious queen
And she we has 1 man, may she also have 10, may she have a fuckin line troop says the lineman lament.

To love you more

voicenieinnoe@gmail.com — Wed, 06 Sep 2023 05:13:27 +0000

This hit, that ice-cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one, for them hood girls
Them good girls, straight masterpieces
Stylin’, wilin’
Livin’ it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty

I’m too hot (hot damn), uh
Call the police and the fireman
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire, man
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Say my name, you know who I am
I’m too hot (hot damn)
And my band ’bout that money, break it down
Girls, hit your hallelujah (ooh)
Girls, hit your hallelujah (ooh)
Girls, hit your hallelujah (ooh)
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you (ooh)
(‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you)
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you
Saturday night, and we in the spot
Don’t believe me, just watch, come on!

Cold as ice

miles_kim343@yahoo.com — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 17:55:45 +0000

By: One-Eyed and Game Ovary

You’re as cold as ice
You’re willing to sacrifice your butt
You never whistled twice
Someday you’ll pay the price on snow

You fucked up on trail
We’ve called you in for crimes
Pull down your shorts and show us your behind
You never found marks
You got lost on the way
Get ready to drink when you head us say

Down down down down down down down…

I’ve Only Half a Brain

jeffreymartello@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Feb 2023 17:56:16 +0000

I could wile away the hours,
Searchin’ hills for flour,
Across a wide terrain. (repeat)
I’d be chipper, and I’d be cheerful,
If my stomach had a beerful,
‘Cause I’ve only half a brain. (repeat)
With my arms and legs akimbo,
I’ll be chasing after bimbos,
Through mud, thorns, and rain. (repeat)
I’ll be making lots of passes,
As I fondle all their asses,
‘Cause I’ve only half a brain. (repeat)
Chorus: I’ll do down-downs till the keg begins to spit,
Then I’ll fire one up and take a little hit,
I’ll impress the women with my charming wit,
As I shout out, “Show us your tits!”
Then my beer I will be sharing,
With them as their breast they’re baring,
Our urges unrestrained. (repeat)
Oh, our language will be rude as,
We exchange bod-i-ly fluids,
‘Cause we’ve only half a brain.

The moose song

reaganalicerose@gmail.com — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 15:19:57 +0000

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I’d play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
‘Till my girlfriend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,
Now you’d never get treated that way by a moose.

(Chorus)
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
My life has been merry, my women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.

Now when I’m in need of a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
‘Cause moose always come when there’s hay on the ground.

(Chorus)
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
My life has been merry, my women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.

Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they put up a fight.
But it’s just not the same when you slam that caboose,
As the feeling you get when you’re humping with a moose.

(Chorus)

I’ve done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I’d do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I’ve done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it’s just not the same when you screw with a moose.

(Chorus)

I’ve fought many battles on fields, and on Farms
I’ve had many women in beds, and in barns
Some men serve Odin, and some men serve Zeus
but you’ve never known service, til you’ve serviced a moose

(Chorus)

Now that I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.

(Chorus)

Drink Drink Drink Your Beer

hypereader101@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 10:36:13 +0000

Drink drink drink your beer
To pay for your crime
Stop complaining about the taste
There’s no cum this time

Hot Vagina

hypereader101@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 10:31:55 +0000

Hot vagina for your breakfast
Hot vagina for your lunch (pussy!)
Hot vagina for your dinner
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch
It’s so tasty and delicious
Bite-size ready to eat
So grab your chick, give her a lick
Hot vagina can’t be beat!
Someone’s in my sister’s vagina
Someone’s in my sister I kno-o-ow
Someone’s in my sister’s vagina
Blowing like a dynamo
And going *motorboating sounds*

Assholes Are Cheap Today

hypereader101@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 10:22:49 +0000

Assholes are cheap today Cheaper than yesterday Little ones are half a crown standing up or lying down Large ones … Continue reading

Camel Toe

hypereader101@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:42:32 +0000

Such a beautiful girl
And your shorts are on so tight
That when you stand just right I can see it all

When you’re on the trail
And your shorts are soaking wet
I see a fuzzy silhouette when I look down below
I see your camel toe

Your biscuit, beavage
I see your Hoover cleavage
Your monkey, your muffin
You ain’t hiding nothing
Your coochie, your snapper
You’re showing off your flapper

It’s your camel toe
It looks so nice so baby let it show
Just like a pink taco
I see your camel toe

Glorious victorious

hypereader101@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:40:01 +0000

Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer

Got drunk last night
Got drunk the night before
Gonna get drunk tonight
Like I’ve never been drunk before

Cuz when I get drunk I’m as happy as can be
Cause we’re all part of the Hasher family

Oh the Hasher Family
Is the best family
To ever come over
From Old Germany

You’ve got your high-ass drunks
You’ve got your low-ass drunks
You’ve got your Asian drunks
And we’re all fucking drunk

Singing glorious, victorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear
Of the Hash House!