My father makes books on the corner,
My mother makes illicit gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
My god how the money rolls in!

Chorus:
Rolls in, rolls in,
My god how the money rolls in, rolls in,
Rolls in, rolls in, my god how the money rolls in

My mother’s a bawdy house keeper,
Each night when the evening grows dim,
She hangs out a little red lantern,
My god how the money rolls in!

Chorus

My cousin’s a Harley street surgeon,
With instruments long, sharp and thin,
He only does one operation,
My god how the money rolls in!

Chorus

Uncle Joe is a registered plumber,
His business in holes and in tin,
He’ll plug up your hole for a tenner,
My god how the money rolls in!

Chorus

I flew into …, an expat so neat,
Some boozy old hashers I happened to meet,
I asked to go hashing, they answered me “nay,
For wimps such as you we can find any day!”

Chorus:
And its no nay never, no nay no never no more,
Shall I play the wild hasher nay never no more

I took out my checkbook all shiney & bright,
The hash-cash’s eyes they lit up with delight,
He said “gladly you’re welcome you as one of our rank,
As soon as your check has been cleared by the bank”

Chorus

They sold me a T-shirt at exorbitant price,
Then we went hashing, ’twas ever so nice,
At the last checkpoint we lost three without trace,
And back at the On on we all got shit faced

Chorus

I’ve hashed the world over, places far and near,
I fondle the women and drink all the beer,
And now I’m returning with many to tell,
Of checkbacks unending and shortcuts through hell

Chorus

Now all I have left is a beer stained T-shirt,
And my sneakers are covered in shiggy & dirt,
My wife she has left me because of the clap,
The right time for me to leave this terrible trap

Chorus