Ever since he found it (hey!)
All he does is pound it (hey!)
He’s the meanest
He’s the horse’s ass

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam,
Five Chinese crackers up your ass go
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam
Four Chinese crackers up your ass go
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam
Three Chinese crackers up your ass go
BANG, BANG, BANG

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam
Two Chinese crackers up your ass go
BANG, BANG

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam
One Chinese cracker up your ass goes
BANG

(Drink it down…)

Stuff, stuff, stuff my butt,
Fill my ass with cream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is a wet dream

Suck, suck, suck my knob,
Make me shoot my gooo,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a spew

What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs?

Chorus:
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
After all the down-downs

We’ll shave his ass with a rusty razor,
Then shave his crotch with a new-fangled laser,
We’ll zap him in the ass with a copper’s tazer,
After all the down-downs

Chorus

That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs

We had joy, we had fun
We went streaking in the sun,
But the cops, they had guns,
And they shot us in the buns

Assholes are cheap today,
Cheaper than yesterday,
Small ones are half a crown,
Straight up or bending down

Bigger ones for bigger dicks
Biggest ones for three-and-six
Get yours before their gone
Come now and try one on.

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, I’ve been in between it,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

It would take a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs on her dicky dinah hang down to her knees.

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion
And the hairs on her dicky dinah hang down to her knees.

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

If she was my daughter I’d cut them a little shorter
’cause the hairs on her dicky dinah hang down to her knees.

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

I’ve felt it, I’ve smelt it, it’s just like a piece of velvet
And the hairs on her dicky dinah hang down to her knees.

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

She slept with a demon who washed her with semen
And the hairs on her dicky dinah hang down to her knees.

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

She’s not a great looker, but everyone took ‘er
And the hairs of her dicky dinah hung down to her knees

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

I’ve touched it, I’ve licked it, it tastes just like brisket
And the hairs of her dicky dinahhung down to her knees

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

I folded her lips back, and there found a six-pack
And the hairs of her dicky dinah hung down to her knees

And they’re hares, and they’re hares,
And the hairs on the dicky dinah went down to her knees

(How many?)

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

The aroma it lingers, it smells like fish fingers
And the hairs of her dicky dinah hung down to her knees

It ruffled up its neck,
And shat a little speck,
And puckered up his little asshole

Asshole, asshole,
You’re nothing but a little asshole