To the tune of “If I Had You” by Adam Lambert

Oh if I had boobs,
That would be the only thing I’d ever need

Oh if I had boobs,
Money, fame and fortune never could compete

If I had boobs,
Life would be a party it’d be ECSTASY!

Oh if I had boobs
B-b-b-b-b-boobs
B-b-b-b-b-boobs
B-b-b-b-b-boobs
Oh if I had boobs