To the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Chorus: Free beer for all the Hashers
Free beer for all the Hashers
Free beer for all the Hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Jesus can’t lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus can’t lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus can’t lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)
The pack can’t catch Jesus ‘cuz he runs across the lake
The pack can’t catch Jesus ‘cuz he runs across the lake
The pack can’t catch Jesus ‘cuz he runs across the lake
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)
(spread arms) The harriettes love Jesus ‘cuz he’s hung like this
The harriettes love Jesus ‘cuz he’s hung like this
The harriettes love Jesus ‘cuz he’s hung like this
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)
(on your knees) Jesus, we’re only kidding
Jesus, we’re only kidding
Jesus, we’re only kidding
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)