When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I’d play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
‘Till my girlfriend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,
Now you’d never get treated that way by a moose.
(Chorus)
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
My life has been merry, my women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.
Now when I’m in need of a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
‘Cause moose always come when there’s hay on the ground.
(Chorus)
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
My life has been merry, my women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.
Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they put up a fight.
But it’s just not the same when you slam that caboose,
As the feeling you get when you’re humping with a moose.
(Chorus)
I’ve done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I’d do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I’ve done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it’s just not the same when you screw with a moose.
(Chorus)
I’ve fought many battles on fields, and on Farms
I’ve had many women in beds, and in barns
Some men serve Odin, and some men serve Zeus
but you’ve never known service, til you’ve serviced a moose
(Chorus)
Now that I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.
(Chorus)
