To the tune of "The Candy Man"
Chorus:
(Oh!) The S & M man.
The S & M man,
The S & M man because he mixes it with love,
Makes the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good.
Who will run through shiggy, (Who will run through shiggy,)
Ripping up his flesh, (Ripping up his flesh)
And turn right around,
And repeat the bloody mess?
Chorus
Who cuts off your gonads,
Boils ‘em in a stew,
Later that evening,
He’ll feed ‘em back to you?
Chorus
Who can take a razor,
And no shaving cream,
Scrape her pussy bald,
While he listens to her scream?
Chorus
Who can take a bottle,
Shove it up your ass,
Hit it with a hammer,
And line your ass with glass?
Chorus
Who can take your penis,
Slam it in a door,
Slam it in a door,
So you can’t fuck anymore?
Chorus
Who can take a sander,
Make sure it’s Black and Decker,
Rub it up and down,
Until you’ve got a bleeding pecker?
Chorus
Who can take two ice picks,
Stick one in each ear,
And ride her like a Harley,
While he roots her up the rear?
Chorus
Who takes jumper cables,
Clamps one on each tit,
Starts up the car,
And electrocutes the bitch?
Chorus
Who can take a vagina,
Suck out all the yeast,
Spit it out into some dough,
And serve bread at the hash feast?
Chorus
Who can take a puppy,
Hold it by the ears,
Fuck it in the ass,
Until it sheds those puppy tears?
Chorus
Who can take a cheese grater,
Strap it to his arm,
Fist fuck the bitch
And make Vagina Parmesan?
Chorus
Who can take a baby,
Lay it on a bed,
Turn the bugger over,
Fuck the soft spot in its head?
Chorus
Who can take a little girl,
Before she’s on the rag,
Fuck her till she’s dead
And then toss her in a bag?
Chorus
Who goes to the abortion clinic,
Sneaks around the back,
Digs through the dumpster,
Until he finds a tasty snack?
Chorus
Who goes to the abortion clinic,
Fuck goin’ around the back
Kick down the front door,
And eat it out her snatch?
Chorus
Who can take a sawfish,
Ram it up yer bum,
Run it back and forth,
To make some rectal chum?
Chorus
