In (Neighborhood/Trail Location) drunk and dazed
In the woods where the shiggy was a fucking maze
Chilling out hashing and acting like fools
And shotgunning beers at an abandoned school
There were a couple of hares who were up to no good
Started laying floor all over the neighborhood
We went on one private property and the cops got scared
They said “It must be some of those Hash House Harriers”

I whistled for the pack and when they came near
They yelled “Somebody throw me a goddamn beer!”
If anything, I figured such kindness was rare
But the beer was lukewarm, so they said “FUCK THIS HARE!”

That’s when the cops pulled up after another minute
They said to the RA “You’re getting a ticket!”
Then they all looked at me and I said a prayer
Cause I knew I’d become (Kennel/City)’s most notorious hare

Isn’t it neat?

Wouldn’t you think our collections complete

Wouldn’t you think we’re the ones, the ones who have everyone

We’ve Jizzy’s and Jizzl’s a’pllenty

We got Tables and Toppers galore

And vagina names? We’ve got 20

But who cares, no big deal, we want more

Out where we run, out where we walk, following trails of flower and chalk

Beer on your dome, soon you’ll call KAWH3 Home

What would you pay, if you could play, with all these dickheads

What would you give if you could live like a heathen

Muggles on land, don’t understand

They want to, repremand us hashers

But we’re hashers, so you bastards, are you on-on

You’re ready to know what these wankers know

You’ve got questions, S.A.D.’s my answer

Like who am I, and why won’t I, shut the fuck up

Fill up your cup

Don’t you dare frown

Cause you’re about to do a down down

And when you’re done

You will become

Part of our hash

Now blow your loads on the count of three,
And say this is what it’s like to get a bukkake.

Cum together, right now. On to me.

Wankers to the left of me racists to my right,
here I am stuck in the circle with you.

Well I don’t know why he’s being accused.
He already drank up half of the booze.
And he’s getting all the lyrics wrong.
To his favorite hashing song.

Eat bite fuck suck gobble nibble chew,
Here I am stuck in the circle with you.

I want to be where the shiggy is,
I want to see,
want to see ‘some rashes’.
Walkin’ around on those,
(Whad’ya call ’em?) oh – feet.
Flippin’ your fins you don’t get too far,
Legs are required for jumpin’, dancin’.
Strollin’ along down a,
(What’s that word again?) street.
Up where they walk,
Up where they run,
Up where they stay all day in the sun.
Wanderin’ free,
Wish I could be,
Part of that world.

What would I give,
If I could live,
Outta these waters?
What would I pay,
To spend a day,
Warm on the sand?
Betcha on land,
They understand,
Bet they don’t reprimand their daughters.
Bright young women,
Sick o’ swimmin’,
Ready to stand.
And ready to know what the people know,
Ask ’em my questions,
And get some answers.
What’s a fire and why does it,
(What’s the word?) burn?
When’s it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love,
Love to explore that shore above?
Out of the sea,
Wish I could be,
Part of that world.

(Repeat with left tit)

He lapped up the liquor off the bar room floor, and back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long you could hear him roar!!!!

Bring out the goddamn cat!

Well out came the cat and they had a little spat, and the cat ate up the little brown mouse.

Chop! chop!

And the moral of the story is!!!!

Don’t drink liquor on the house,
If you’re a mouse,
Hey hey hey

Watch them swing!
Watch them bounce
After all, this is the hash!

And our Harriets are never second best!

So cum on and show your boobies
Yes
Show them to me
Show your breasts
Show your breasts
Show your breeeaaaasts.