Chorus: My girl’s a vegetable
She lives in a hospital
I’d do most anything
To keep her alive
She’s got a new TV
It’s called an EKG
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
Her EKG does not rise
Still she can part her thighs
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She has no arms or legs
Just hooks and wooden pegs
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She has no feet or hands
Her head’s held on by rubber bands
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She’s got a tracheotomy
She can breathe while giving head to me
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She cannot hear, she cannot see
But she’s got an oral cavity
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She can’t get out of bed
Still she can give me head
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She might not live out the night
So she won’t put up a fight
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
She’s had an episiotomy
That’s a bigger hole for me
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
My girl has leprosy
Bits and pieces land all over me
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
I’m always guaranteed a blow
Because she cannot say no
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
My girl has long blonde hair
It’s in patches here and there
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
There’s one doctor I won’t let in
That’s Dr. Kevorkian
I’d do most anything to keep her alive
(chorus)
