Most Notorious Hare

Well this is a story all about how
I sat on the ice and did down downs
And I’d like to take a minute, get a drink right there
I’ll tell you how I became (Kennel/City Name)’s most notorious hare

In (Neighborhood/Trail Location) drunk and dazed
In the woods where the shiggy was a fucking maze
Chilling out hashing and acting like fools
And shotgunning beers at an abandoned school
There were a couple of hares who were up to no good
Started laying floor all over the neighborhood
We went on one private property and the cops got scared
They said “It must be some of those Hash House Harriers”

I whistled for the pack and when they came near
They yelled “Somebody throw me a goddamn beer!”
If anything, I figured such kindness was rare
But the beer was lukewarm, so they said “FUCK THIS HARE!”

That’s when the cops pulled up after another minute
They said to the RA “You’re getting a ticket!”
Then they all looked at me and I said a prayer
Cause I knew I’d become (Kennel/City)’s most notorious hare