Offensive
White Christmas
To the tune of White Christmas.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
With no Mexicans or Jews,
Where everyone’s caucasian,
And there are no Asians, no darkies or Hebrews,
Drink it down…
Offensive
Offensive
Offensive
My asshole is sore
To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean.
My asshole is sore from your fucking,
My asshole is sore from your dick,
My asshole is sore from your stuffing,
So give it a rest, you prick
Offensive
Today is hashing day
Without a tune. Adjust to match your own calendar.
Call: Today is a Monday!
Response: Today is a Monday!
Call: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
Response: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
Chorus:
Call: Is everybody happy?
Response: You bet your ass we are!
All (raising cups over heads, making a full turn): Tada dee dum dee dum dee dum
Call: Today is Tuesday!
Response: Today is Tuesday!
Call: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
Response: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
Chorus
Additional verses:
Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers)
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass and drink)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions)
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions)
Sunday is a day of rest (silence)
Offensive
A goodbye song
To the tune of Auld Lang Syne.
Piss off, you cunt, piss off, you cunt,
Piss off, you cunt, piss off,
Piss off, you cunt, piss off, you cunt,
Piss off, you cunt, piss off.
Offensive
Fuck a duck
To the tune of Do Re Mi.
Fuck a duck, a female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo,
Finger-bang an orangutan,
Let an elephant do you
Feel the penis of an eel,
Whack the asshole of a yak,
Masturbate with a gnu,
And that will being us back to
Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck…
Offensive
Father Abraham (version 2)
Chorus:
Father Abraham fucked seven pigs
Seven pigs fucked Father Abraham
And he never laughed,
And he never smiled,
All he did was go like this:
With the left… (left arm)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right… (right arm)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right…
With the left… (left leg)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right…
With the left…
With the right… (right leg)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right…
With the left…
With the right…
And an ooh… (head and torso forward)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right…
With the left…
With the right…
And an ooh…
And an aah… (head back and hips forward)
Chorus
With the left…
With the right…
With the left…
With the right…
And an ooh…
And an aah…
And an aaaaaaaaah! (bend forward)
Chorus
Glory glory hallelujah
Offensive
Assholes are cheap today
To the tune of La donna è mobile.
Assholes are cheap today,
Cheaper than yesterday,
Small ones are half a crown,
Straight up or bending down
Bigger ones for bigger dicks
Biggest ones for three-and-six
Get yours before their gone
Come now and try one on.
Offensive
Bestiality’s best
Chorus:
Bestiality’s best boys, bestiality’s best
(Shag a wallaby)
Bestiality’s best boys, bestiality’s best
Have a shag with a stag boys, have a shag with stag,
(Shag a wallaby)
Have a shag with a stag boys, have a shag with stag
Chorus
Alternative verses:
Change your luck with a duck, Chuck
A camel’s a hell of a lay, Kay
A moose is no bloody use, Bruce
You can shoot your load in a toad, dude
A rhino’s a hell of a treat, Pete
A mongoose is no piece of cake, Jake
You can come again in a hen, men
You can stuff your log in a frog, boys
You can stick your pole in a mole, Cole
Put your log up a dog, Claude
Offensive
Yogi bear
In the forest lives a bear,
Yogi, Yogi
In the forest lives a bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear
In the forest lives a bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi has a little friend
Boo Boo, Boo Boo
Yogi has a little friend
Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear
Boo Boo Bear, Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear
Yogi has a little friend,
Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear
Boo Boo Bear has no teeth
Gummy, Gummy
Boo Boo Bear has no teeth
Gummy, Gummy Bear
Gummy, Gummy Bear, Gummy, Gummy Bear
Boo Boo Bear has no teeth
Gummy, Gummy Bear
Boo Boo’s only three feet tall
Yogi, Yogi
Boo Boo’s only three feet tall
Lucky Yogi Bear
Lucky Yogi Bear, lucky Yogi Bear
Boo Boo’s only three feet tall
Lucky Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy likes it on the ice,
Polar, Polar
Cindy likes it on the ice,
Polar, Polar Bear
Polar, Polar Bear, Polar, Polar Bear
Cindy likes it on the ice,
Polar, Polar Bear
Cindy likes it up the ass,
Brown brown, brown brown
Cindy likes it up the ass,
Brown brown, brown Brown Bear
Brown brown, brown Brown Bear, brown brown, brown Brown Bear
Cindy likes it up the ass,
Brown brown, brown Brown Bear
Cindy has a shaven snatch,
Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy has a shaven snatch,
Grizzly, Grizzly Bear
Grizzly, Grizzly Bear, Grizzly, Grizzly Bear
Cindy has a shaven snatch,
Grizzly, Grizzly Bear
Cindy likes it in the dark,
Black black, black black
Cindy likes it in the dark,
Black black, black Black Bear
Black black, black Black Bear, black black, black Black Bear
Cindy likes it in the dark,
Black black, black Black Bear
Cindy likes it upside down,
Koala, Koala
Cindy likes it upside down,
Koala, Koala Bear
Koala, Koala Bear, Koala, koala Bear
Cindy likes it upside down,
Koala, Koala Bear
Yogi likes to roll his own,
Smokey, Smokey
Yogi likes to roll his own,
Smokey, Smokey Bear
Smokey, Smokey Bear, Smokey, Smokey Bear
Yogi likes to roll his own,
Smokey, Smokey Bear
Yogi’s white and Cindy’s black
Panda, Panda
Yogi’s white and Cindy’s black
Panda, Panda Bear
Panda, Panda Bear, Panda, Panda Bear
Yogi’s white and Cindy’s black
Panda, Panda Bear
Cindy bear likes lingerie,
Teddy, Teddy
Cindy Bear likes lingerie,
Teddy, Teddy Bear
Teddy, Teddy Bear, Teddy, Teddy Bear
Cindy Bear likes lingerie,
Teddy, Teddy Bear
Cindy is a nudist,
Right to, Right to
Cindy is a nudist,
Right to, right to bare
Right to, right to bare, right to, right to bare
Cindy is a nudist,
Right to, right to bare
Yogi has a cheesy dick,
Camem-, Camem-
Yogi has a cheesy dick,
Camem-, Camembert
Camem-, Camembert, Camem-, Camembert
Yogi has a cheesy dick,
Camem-, Camembert
Cindy Bear has double Ds,
More than, More than
Cindy Bear has double Ds,
More than I can bare
More than I can bare, more than I can bare
Cindy Bear has double Ds,
More than I can bare
Offensive
He’s the lamest
He’s the lamest
He sucks the horse’s anus
He’s the lamest
He’s the horse’s ass
Ever since he found it (Uh!),
All he does is pound it (Uh!),
He’s the lamest,
He’s the horse’s ass