A song for Christmas
To the tune of the chorus of Santa Claus is coming to town.
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is dead
To the tune of the chorus of Santa Claus is coming to town.
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is dead
To the tune of Rawhide.
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin,
My dick is gettin’ swollen,
I got this doggie rollin’, Rawhide.
My knob is hard as leather,
But I’ll get it in whatever,
I wish I could get the tip inside,
I stab but I keep missin’,
This wasn’t made for pissin’,
I’m waiting for this year’s first ride.
Pull ’em down, get ’em off,
Get ’em off, pull ’em down,
Pull ’em down, Get ’em off, Rawhide.
Stick it in, pull it out,
Pull it out, stick it in,
Stick it in, pull it out, Rawhide.
To the tune of the chorus of Guantanamera.
One on the table,
There’s only one on the table,
One on the ta-a-a-a-ble,
There’s only one on the table
Two on the table,
There’s only two on the table,
Two on the ta-a-a-a-ble,
There’s only two on the table
To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean.
My body lies over the ocean,
My body lies over the sea,
My father lies over my mother,
And that’s how they created me
To the tune of What shall we do with the drunken sailor.
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
What shall we do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs?
Chorus:
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
There he goes again – pukin’ in the bushes,
After all the down-downs
We’ll shave his ass with a rusty razor,
Then shave his crotch with a new-fangled laser,
We’ll zap him in the ass with a copper’s tazer,
After all the down-downs
Chorus
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken hasher,
After all the down-downs
A man’s best friend is his duck (quack quack),
A duck’s got plenty of pluck (quack quack,
And when you’re down on your luck (quack quack),
They’re always good for a… meal
To the tune of the chorus of Seasons in the Sun.
We had joy, we had fun
We went streaking in the sun,
But the cops, they had guns,
And they shot us in the buns
To the tune of Rawhide.
Ballin’, ballin’, ballin’,
That boy, he keeps on callin’,
His crabs, they keep on crawlin’,
Chapped hide!
You thought he was the right one,
But he was a one-night stand one,
He’s shootin’ blanks with his gun,
Chapped hide!
Pick him up, take him home, ride him hard, make him moan
Wake him up, saddle up, Send him home
Chapped hide… Yee Haw!!