Blessing of the hares
Bless these hares,
Bless this trail,
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Coitus no interruptus
Bless these hares,
Bless this trail,
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Coitus no interruptus
Hashy birthday to you,
Hashy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too
To the tune of My favourite things.
Short cuts that leave all the front bastards trailing,
Misleading directions leaving short cutters wailing,
Slippery slopes where hounds flounder in shit,
These are some things that appeal to my wit
When my lungs sting, and my back aches,
And I’ve broken down,
I cheer myself up with my favorite things,
And get myself a down down
Hashy birthday, fuck you
Hashy birthday, fuck you
Hashy birthday, you ass hole
Hashy birthday, fuck you
To the tune of La Marseillaise, the French anthem.
A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To have a jolly good shit, (shit!, shit!)
He took his coat and his trousers off,
So that he could revel in it, (it!, it!)
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before,
“Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, je fait manure.
Ou est le papier?”
To the opening tune of The Mickey Mouse Club.
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked!)
Shitty trail (Totally fucked!)
I’d rather sit here
And drink my beer
Than run your shitty trail
To the tune of the William Tell Overture.
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life
Get a life, get a life, life, life
To the tune of the William Tell Overture.
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank
What a wank, what a wank wank wank
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re so fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You would be a speck of cum!